How to Fail at Anything

Success is somewhat of a passion of mine.

You have to really know me to understand this particular post, for those of you that don’t here is me saving you 5 Harry Potter books of back story in short point form:

  • I came from a family that had a big financial success, and a big failure.
  • It was also a Loving marriage success, and its resulting failure.
  • My mom taught me what it meant to be resilient and to keep trying no matter how stupid it might seem.
  • My dad taught me that in order to succeed in this world, you need to be smart, he said he couldn’t teach me much, but that everything I needed to know was in books, so learn to read, and read well. He bought me a mega memory course, and a speed reading course, which taught me how to quickly consume and comprehend information, it has been my lives saving grace.
  • Ive since read over 200 books, less than 10 of them fictional in nature, the rest are reference material. Many Best Sellers, and many more relatively unknown.
  • I did it all because I so badly want to be successful, not so much for myself, but so that my families name MEANS something for a century after I die. I grew up around long standing rural Albertan families that basically paved the road for their kids. I want to do that for mine.

So, knowing that, I wanted to discuss the most fundamental skill needed to acquire in success. If you have read any of books on enhanced learning, you know that the fundamentals do not revolve on learning ABC, or how to go from “Easy to Hard” or learn Skill set 1, then Skill set 2, then Skill set 3, then learn how to combine all of them. That is not mastery, that just a good students way of finding out how to become a copy of another master.

To truly achieve Mastery you need to know the fundamentals of any particular skill or achievement you are trying to attain.

  • What do ALL the masters do, or have in common, or perform consistently?
  • What do ALL the masters NEVER do?
  • Where does every person learn always fail? What are the common failure points on the way to mastery? This is kind of like the second point, but in many cases it is very different. Sometimes it is fear based, or something you cannot change, that may mean you just can’t do it. Such as a 5’3″ tall basket player, sure, there are exceptions, but that does not then make it the rule.

However, that is not the key.

Before any of those can even happen, you need to pursue it fearlessly. You need to do it 100% Traction in a forward direction. In racing, drivers are taught that at ANY point, a tire can only have 100% traction. If you try to stop, and turn at the same time, a % of that traction is going towards holding you back, while another % of that traction is going to turning. The best of the best are focused on making every single movement devote 100% of the traction to the intended direction.

This is how you become successful at anything, you have to be able to clear your mind, and erase all other thoughts, and focus on that one action. If it is approaching that girl, it has to be for a reason, you must have ABSOLUTE intent in mind, not “see where it goes” but INTEND for it to go somewhere. They can smell fear. In so many cases you are in competition with a human, and to be a master at it, you cannot have any % of your brain applying traction in another direction than the one you have purposely set in motion.

Athletes call it being in the zone, players call it having game, artists call it a gift, Buddhists call it being “in the moment”. Whatever you call it, won’t make any difference.

To fail at anything, at the point where you can be decided successful, or a failure, whether it is a fraction of a second, or a decade, if you don’t apply 100% traction to the direction you want to go, you will undoubtedly fail. No amount of research, preparation, analysis, or can ever replace the drive, and 100% belief in yourself to ACT, persist with more traction than any one, or thing, that is wasting grip with second thoughts.

Where are you bleeding Traction right now?

Find your Obsessions

For Good Effect… answer this poll before Proceeding.  

Everyone has those pivotal moments of introspection in their lives where they realize certain things about themselves, whether its the day an overweight person sees themselves not living past 60, or the drug addict having that “aha” moment during an episode of intervention.

There are those moments in life that you simply cant ignore.

Recently I was reading a book called “Socialnomics” by Erik Qualman, as suggested by the president of the company I work for; and it discussed how social media has made us more productive.

I initially that, “WHAT…. PRODUCTIVE? It causes us to lose hours of our lives, simply strolling through creeping youtube vids, or creeping peoples profiles, and living vicariously through “The Rocks” Twitter account.

Then there is the wasted moments, where instead of enjoying the emotional throes of a situation, you stop to take a picture. Posting a shot of that Cupcake, or instead of toasting to a group of friends, you post for a picture to be uploaded to strangers instagram, hashtagged #yolo if you have a birth date that allowed you to grow up thinking hogwarts was a real place.

How could it possibly, in any way, be able to make us more productive.

It justified it by being able to save people trips to the grocery store because as they wait in line they could check facebook and send their kids back to grab a certain recipe. It mentioned how now people can learn how to do things themselves on youtube, making them more efficient.

But I still don’t think it quite downplayed the social time wasters that social media lends it to…

Like Candy Crush…

Not since Farmville have we seen a facebook game so effectively pacify a broad sampling of the general population!

However he brought up an interesting point, it allowed one to explore their past.

He brought up how most people have this lingering concern with HOW MUCH they have uploaded about themselves. How they go back and delete, or hide, or re-deploy their digital social lives. Everyone wonders where out there, that old Nexopia profile is hiding, waiting to come back and bite you in the ass.

At least thats where they were a few years ago, back when Facebook was like crack, and we would spend hours arguing with one another. There was this sudden explosion of conversation on the internet. It was the first time we ever really interacted with HUNDREDS of people we knew. It was the first time we ever had to worry about what someone was “saying about us on the internet”.

Plain and simple, we recognize the rate of which our word can explode. We all learned together, how to “RE-BOOT” our thoughts about how humans interact. Kids today now are literally born with a facebook presence.

That is an epiphany that we had to endure, that they will take for granted. Think about that, how happy are we that we got lucky enough to do some pretty dumb shit, before pictures could be instantly uploaded to the internet before we got a chance to sober up….

Social media has made us then transform our communication to represent positivity, we quickly learned that it would be easy to be hurt if we worried about what others thought. It became a world where we had to just keep positive because if we stoked a fire, we might get burnt in the process. There was a transformational twist in society, and we went from needing to make sure others knew what we thought, to now, not wanting to know what others thought and essentially only bragging on the internet.

“Look what Im eating”

“Look at what amazing thing Im eating”

“Heres 75 pictures of the baby, that has completely made my life, while it crushed my dreams, left me struggling, broke, and dealing with a gambling addict deadbeat dad for 18 years”

(True Story)

This isn’t because we stopped caring what others thought, we’re getting to that point though. First we needed to go through a stage of realizing how much it hurt to care about what others thought, and to simply shell up, and keep ourselves hidden. To pretend that “that isn’t like us”.

We were in our social media Puberty.

We were all masturbating to the sear christmas catalogue, but were too embarrassed to tell each other about it. We all had things we were wondering, we all had complaints, frustrations, but we didn’t want to admit it.

If we did, we simply say the 21st century equivalent to 15 hail mary’s by re-tweeting a bunch of pictures of cute cat videos. Effectively washing our social media sins down the drain with forced communicative labour.

Then the equivalent of the celebrity paparazzi comes along and you get posted on “The Dirty”, or maybe you didn’t, but someone you know did. Maybe its someone you like, or don’t, or after seeing the post switched one another. But the point is, almost all of us have in some way interacted with that site. Either directly or indirectly.

We learned that pictures could be posted of us, attached to words of truth or false, and they would be discusses as fact regardless, without us having any control, whatsoever. Without us having any recourse. Small fortunes have been made selling e-books and “kits” by discovering the sheer number of Google Searches for;
How to get your post deleted off the Dirty
Eventually learning that you are legally handicapped with 16th century censorship laws regarding “Free Speech” being integral to a free thinking society.

Not too sure about how one angry woman posting another angry woman’s face, and a second FAKE picture of her with a banana in her ass, STEM FIRST, on the internet for her boss to see, is necessary to have a free nation…. but alright.

I guess the politicians and celebrities who have the ability to make real change in this world figured it was about time the rest of us could be exposed for OUR little scandals since their lives are constantly scrutinized. I bet they giggle a little bit when they see us freak out about people judging us online.

But guess what, its here to stay, and even what we can control, and delete isnt going away. So we got to this stage of simply not giving a fuck. Now we have all seen enough peoples dirty laundry get posted on the internet to know we are all pretty fucked up from time to time. We all make mistakes, we all put our pants on one leg at a time, and occasionally fall asleep with them around our ankles on a toilet.

So now Social Media allows us to really look back at our lives, now that we keep mostly to positive braggadocios behavior, we can look back and assess if the “Bests” or our lives are still in line with our values today.

Sometimes people who at one point were so proud of their party lives, are later prone to brag about how they no longer love partying and now brag about the amazing dessert they are baking for their family, then realizing those are making you fat, and that now they brag about how “abs are made in the kitchen”…. in their first two weeks of dieting.

When so quickly piled on top of one another its easy to see that we are forced to reflect on our last week, and last life, as we clean up our profiles and erase passed moments. We are no longer trying to pretend they didnt happen. We know they did, and we are just saying goodbye to those old ways and being positive about the present. The faster, and more often we do this, and the more effective we get at assessing our choices, the better we can improve ourselves.

So make some time to go though your digital life and read your own story, find your obsessions, and see what maybe needs to change in your life. Im gonna go read a few of the posts that I have delete off this blog. Maybe I will make them public again soon?

I fucking hate cooking


Ugh… So I’m on Thug Kitchen. And I decide to try making these Vegan Burgers.

No… I’m not a vegan.

But he called them “Healthy Hand Grenades” and that shit made it sound cool.

I have got to say it, Cooking is THEEEE most frustrating fucking thing on the planet.

For the record lets just let it be known I could PROBABLY buy a vegan burger somewhere in this redneck city? And it would probably cost…. 2-3 as much as a regular burger lets say? (All the ingredients INCLUDING full things of spices was under $50 and makes 18 burgers with plenty of ingredients left over)

For this privilege I had to spend a good hour at the Grocery store finding Cumin and shit.

Then I gotta cart all this shit inside and wash it because WebMD and Facebook memes have me convinced that veggies are coated in Cyanide and Anthrax.

Then I gotta chop and dice and try and use my magic bullet as a food processor and somehow convince myself that blended spinach and kidney beans looks like yummy food, instead of runny pig shit.

Half-way in notice that the recipe called for cooked brown rice which is why I now have 44 minutes to write this bullshit.

Then once this is done I gotta mix the runny pig shit, the million little ingredients and 45 minute rice ball in a big bowl…. Get my hands and kitchen all dirty.

Then place them on a sheet and bake them.

(The only easy part)

All in the HOPES that this hippie-hamburger is actually going to taste good.

In the TWO FUCKING HOURS this will take. I could have gone to work, sold a car, gone to the gym, masturbate, or watched the new Star Trek movie.

But no, instead I’m doing this delusional labour if love called COOKING?!

How does this bullshit make sense. Kings had slaves to do this, today the wealthy have chefs. You wanna know why?!? Cuz they don’t waste hours of every day fucking cooking.

I hate cooking so much! I don’t mind eating healthy, but I HAAAAAAAAAAATE cooking.

Now that I’m half way in though I gotta see it through, but I think it’s back to oat meal, eggs and non-cooked food for a while. Ugh…

I tip my hat to anyone that can actually do this.


Heres the Final Product.



All done.

All done.

Rolling over the Curb

So I am just finishing up the 60th day straight I have worked without a day off at this new car sales job.

After reading the first 90 days. I am pretty sure I need to keep working another 30 days but now I get one day off every two weeks to regain energy, and I know why.

The Slump. If you completely immerse yourself in something for 8 hours a day for 30 days, you start to notice how much better or easier that thing has become. By day 45 you almost start to feel that you are the best that there is. At this point you will begin to think that you are in fact so naturally talented that you can begin to alter the process. Then you get into a slump.

So here at day 6, I find myself on the end of a 4 day slump where I have only sold two cars, one was to a situation where there was no way they were getting financed but sometimes they work miracles happen so it was at least worth putting into the hopper. The other, a sale that seemed to just go way too easy, and would probably turn into a crazy lady the next day demanding her money. Like a girl angry after a one night stand.

Its taken me those 4 days to figure whats going on, its a slump, where you lose your groove, and suddenly begin to get frustrated and confused, even impatient and resentful.

I hit that wall today, I found myself trying to skip through the emotional process for people to buy a car. Its a loss of respect for them. Which is when all of a sudden you lose what makes you genuine, and try to make up for it by just essentially “Telling them” what to think, and not helping them begin to feel comfortable to make their own decisions, and to help facilitate their choice.

If that seems a little convoluted…

“It’s like walking up to a girl and saying;
‘Hey uhhhh… I know that I’m good looking enough for you, wanna just skip this whole courtship process and go bang right now. My place?’


Yes, of course I am sure some of the time it works, but as far as closing ratio goes, you can’t bet on that. You have to give them the emotional experience they expect. If you alter that process, you will stray. If you lose respect for their own needs for a comfortable rate to trust someone, they will very rarely buy.

I had that happen to a guy today, who wanted a lifted truck, and I totally just tried skipping the process basically just trying to close them on the parking lot, in essence skipping steps and having it cost me the proper rapport needed to sell.

This is where the saying “back to the basics” comes from. You have to go back to respecting the process and trusting yourself to know the right points to transition from step to step seamlessly, so that you never seem threatening and always make them feel comfortable. That is what makes it so you have a high percentage closing rate in this business, its an utmost adherence to a process and becoming very good at repeating it without the emotional temptation to skip steps affecting you. That is just as much a skill as knowing product knowledge. The better you can get at that, the better you can get at sales. When you are new, and struggling with the process, it’s closing that you are uncomfortable with. Once you figure that out, and have the process figured out, it is staying emotionally and intellectually aware of the need for people to naturally develop trust and rapport to keep yourself in line.

By month three I hope to be learning what a top level sales person is struggling with.


The End – Taking the Blog Offline

Things are really starting to make a lot of sense to me now.

Continue reading